Satire

Scopes!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Maybe stop trying to convince your professor to bump your “F” up to an “A” when you haven’t been to class since Sept. 9. Sometimes you just need to […]

Satire

The Scopes!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): If you want your plans to become dictator of the Seven United Continents to work, maybe stop telling everybody about your step-by-step agenda. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): […]

Satire

The Scopes!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): We all know you’ll never answer your phone anyway, but please—FOR THE LOVE OF GOD—do not pick it up when it rings on Sept. 18 at approximately 2:13 a.m. […]