2022 Olympics to be Competed in the Nude

DISCLAIMER: This article is Satire (not real/meant to be comical)

Elizabeth Vierkant-

For the 2022 Winter games, the Olympics teams have decided to return to their roots and compete in the nude. The Olympics haven’t competed in the nude since 393 AD.

Originally, when Olympics were held in Ancient Greece, all athletes competed without clothing. Since then, the details of the competition have changed quite a bit.

“We just feel like the games have lost some of their natural tradition,” said David Lewis, member of the Olympic Board of Directors, “We wanted to bring a little bit of those historical customs back to the competition.”

Many athletes are unhappy with the new decree. Thus, some desire to overturn the decision before the competition begins.

Several hockey players are concerned about the safety hazards. Without any clothes, there will be no gear to guard the athletes from possible injuries.

“One time, when we played without gear, my cousin completely wiped out and she broke three bones in her legs,” said U.S. hockey player, Maria James, “She was never able to skate the same again.”

In order for the U.S. Olympians to compete to their fullest abilities, James believes that they need to be able to skate.

The hockey players are not the only competitors protesting against the new changes; the ski jumpers are protesting the new rule as well.

“We need our uniforms in order to achieve our best possible speed,” said U.S. ski jumper, Kiana Strong. Without uniforms, the skiers are afraid that they won’t have the needed aerodynamics in order to compete well.

Strong is leading the protest against the new rules. She has started a petition online in hopes of changing the Olympic Board of Director’s decision in time for the competition.

While the ski jumpers and hockey players aren’t happy to be competing in the nude, there are some Olympians that are pleased with the rule change. Many of the figure skaters are happy.

“Figure skating is all about the movement of the body and what I’m able to achieve,” said figure skater, Jenny Slater, “Without flashy costumes, I’m hoping that people will be more focused on my performance than they were in the past.”

Despite the divided reception on the new ruling, preparations have been put in place.

Heaters are currently being installed in the seats of sleds for the bobsledders. Heat tents are also being built by the areas where competitions are held.

All the new heating equipment will be kept away from the areas of competition in order to prevent melting of the snow and ice.

Olympic officials hope that with the announcement of competing in the nude it’ll bring even more attention to the winter games than ever before, and that they’ll finally be able to outshine the Summer Olympic games.


The 2022 Winter Olympics will be held in Beijing China making Beijing the first city to have ever hosted both the Summer and Winter Olympics.