Satire
The Scopes!
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): There’s a difference between you doing all the work for your group project and you forcing your other group members not to do any of the work. It’s called […]
Satire
Satire
The Scopes!
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Please, please, PLEASE put that stupid muffler back on your car. I am literally BEGGING you. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): We all want to know how you’ve […]
Satire
Satire
The Scopes!
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): If you want your plans to become dictator of the Seven United Continents to work, maybe stop telling everybody about your step-by-step agenda. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): […]
Satire
The Scopes!
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): We all know you’ll never answer your phone anyway, but please—FOR THE LOVE OF GOD—do not pick it up when it rings on Sept. 18 at approximately 2:13 a.m. […]
Satire
Satire
College Seniors Geared Up to Complete Entire Semester’s Classwork Load in Final Week
Cam “See Ya Never, Nerds!” Parrucci As the final semester of their college years dawns upon UW-Stout’s seniors, many of them are readying up to complete their semester’s homework in the coming 5 days before […]
Satire
Campus Seniors Finally Rent Textbooks as Spring Break Ends
As spring break finally comes to close, UW-Stout students return to Menomonie after a week of vacationing, sleeping in, and questionable choices, ready to return to the hustle and bustle of the finishing weeks of […]
Satire
The Scopes!
Cam “My Jokes Are a Cry for Help” Parrucci – Aries – “An apple a day keeps the doctor away!” does not actually involve catapults and your doctor’s home address, no matter how hard you […]
Satire
The Scopes!
Cam “Playlist Junkie” Parrucci Aries – The snow still stuck behind the tires of your car since the first snow is really telling of your inability to let go of things. Get over things! Get […]
Satire
Traffic Cone Really Ties College Living Room Décor Together
Cam “Playlist Junkie” Parrucci – Amidst beer-case cardboard covering walls, mismatched chairs, and 3 DVDs on the wall shelf next to the TV, the décor of this UW-Stout college home living room might seem like […]
Satire
Today’s Classmates None the Wiser About Repeating Yesterday’s Outfit
Cam “I’m the Kind of Tired Sleep Won’t Fix” Parrucci In today’s world where young adults find extreme difficulties feeling comfortable around countless judgmental eyes, many take solace in the small victories of the day […]
Satire
The Scopes!
Cam “I’m the Kind of Tired Sleep Won’t Fix” Parrucci Aries: You will never find true happiness. What are you going to do? Cry about it? Taurus: Despite others saying that your recent gluten-free stunt […]
Satire
Entire State of Wisconsin Forgets How to Drive Amidst Heavy Snowfall
Cam “I Demand Attention” Parrucci – Layers of ice and snow have begun to coat nearly every street in the upper-Midwest, making visibility low, traction lower, and reducing speeds. Although this seems to happen annually […]
Satire
The Scopes!
Cam “I Demand Attention” Parrucci – Aquarius: You will be haunted by the ghosts of all of the socks you’ve lost doing laundry over the years. You’ll never get a good night’s sleep again! Pisces: […]
Satire
Patriots Fans Emerge From Nowhere After Another Trip to the Super Bowl
Alex Lutz – In a surprise turn of events, the Patriots are going to the Super Bowl. We were all very shocked and surprised to see them advance to the Super Bowl in overtime against […]