Satire

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): You’re going to plan to complete every assignment you fell behind on throughout the semester and not do a single one. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): You’ll dye […]

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Everybody does not hate you. Please go take a nap. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): No one understands your obscure Warrior Cats references. Please stop. Pisces (February 19 […]

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): How does it feel to get a Christmas gift as your birthday present? Not good I bet. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): How does it feel to get […]

The managers of Menomonie’s Kwik Trips are asking students to “find rolls of quarters elsewhere” after mayor Randy Knaack used a Mayoral Executive Order to “squeeze quarters out of the town for more foosball.”  Students […]

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): You’re the college-friend version of a helicopter parent. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): It’s Aquarius season! Celebrate by telling everyone that your fourth-grade essay on The Magic Treehouse […]

Despite the finished construction on North Hall, the University of Wisconsin–Stout has one major unfinished project still looming over campus. Bowman Hall has moved past a facelift and is getting full body reconstruction. This is […]

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Remember Hyde from That 70s Show? That’s you. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): It’s Aquarius season! Celebrate by telling everyone you found a really good Norweigan folk band […]

This week’s Student-Athlete Spotlight is Ron. Ron is 50. Ron is good at Bowling. That is all he allowed me to write. Why did you choose Stout? I liked the trees. Outside of school and […]

From player to coach, Nutty the Squirrel has impacted University of Wisconsin-Stout in so many ways. Of course, we remember his amazing 4 seasons playing for the Men’s Basketball team, leading them to four straight […]

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Did you know that not believing in horoscopes is such a Capricorn move? Ugh. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Bored? Bored of being bored? Maybe do your freaking […]

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Why why WHY did you put those giant wheels on your truck? You’re already having a hard time making friends. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): You’re ~not like […]

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): We know that you’re stingy. We get it. But please, PLEASE just go to the grocery store and buy some food before you starve. Aquarius (January 20 – February […]

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Just because YOU think that your best friend’s career as an Instagram influencer isn’t going to work out doesn’t mean that you should tell them. Let them dream! Aquarius […]

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Just because your roommate put their fancy pumpkin-flavored drinks on YOUR side of the fridge doesn’t mean that you should drink them all. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): […]