Satire

March 2021 Horoscopes Aries: An Alien will land in your backyard and ask for a Redbull, but you will only have one left in your fridge. Just give the alien a can of Redbull. Capricorn: […]

Aries: You will start a family band that will tour across America, bouncing from county fair to county fair. The band will be a success until your bass player and brother, Ted, decide to leave […]

Do you ever find yourself making decisions for your dog? Do you ever ask yourself, “How can I set my dog up with the life they want?” The Humane Society of the United States and […]

The Signs As Things Boomers Hate Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Not knowing how to sew or do any woodworking because your school cut all those classes right before you were supposed to take […]

The Signs As What They Should Watch During Shutdown Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): 2001: A Space Odyssey. Something about you tells me that you really, really love super long and incredibly boring movies… […]

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): You’re going to plan to complete every assignment you fell behind on throughout the semester and not do a single one. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): You’ll dye […]

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Everybody does not hate you. Please go take a nap. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): No one understands your obscure Warrior Cats references. Please stop. Pisces (February 19 […]

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): How does it feel to get a Christmas gift as your birthday present? Not good I bet. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): How does it feel to get […]

The managers of Menomonie’s Kwik Trips are asking students to “find rolls of quarters elsewhere” after mayor Randy Knaack used a Mayoral Executive Order to “squeeze quarters out of the town for more foosball.”  Students […]

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): You’re the college-friend version of a helicopter parent. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): It’s Aquarius season! Celebrate by telling everyone that your fourth-grade essay on The Magic Treehouse […]

Despite the finished construction on North Hall, the University of Wisconsin–Stout has one major unfinished project still looming over campus. Bowman Hall has moved past a facelift and is getting full body reconstruction. This is […]

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Remember Hyde from That 70s Show? That’s you. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): It’s Aquarius season! Celebrate by telling everyone you found a really good Norweigan folk band […]

This week’s Student-Athlete Spotlight is Ron. Ron is 50. Ron is good at Bowling. That is all he allowed me to write. Why did you choose Stout? I liked the trees. Outside of school and […]

From player to coach, Nutty the Squirrel has impacted University of Wisconsin-Stout in so many ways. Of course, we remember his amazing 4 seasons playing for the Men’s Basketball team, leading them to four straight […]