Satire

The ‘Scopes!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Bleak. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Pretentious. Pisces (February 19 – March 20): Spike’s fiancé. Aries (March 21 – April 19): Angry. Taurus (April 20 – May 20): […]

Satire

The ‘Scopes!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Everybody does not hate you. Please go take a nap. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): No one understands your obscure Warrior Cats references. Please stop. Pisces (February 19 […]

Satire

The Scopes!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): How does it feel to get a Christmas gift as your birthday present? Not good I bet. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): How does it feel to get […]

Satire

The ‘Scopes!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): You’re the college-friend version of a helicopter parent. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): It’s Aquarius season! Celebrate by telling everyone that your fourth-grade essay on The Magic Treehouse […]

Satire

The Scopes!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Remember Hyde from That 70s Show? That’s you. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): It’s Aquarius season! Celebrate by telling everyone you found a really good Norweigan folk band […]

Satire

Prohibition: Take 2

With the return of students to the new semester, new laws come with it. Regulations have been placed in response to the extensive use of e-cigarettes and tobacco products by the younger generation across the […]

Satire

The Scopes!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Did you know that not believing in horoscopes is such a Capricorn move? Ugh. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Bored? Bored of being bored? Maybe do your freaking […]

Satire

The Scopes!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Why why WHY did you put those giant wheels on your truck? You’re already having a hard time making friends. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): You’re ~not like […]

Satire

The Scopes!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): We know that you’re stingy. We get it. But please, PLEASE just go to the grocery store and buy some food before you starve. Aquarius (January 20 – February […]

Satire

The Scopes!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Just because YOU think that your best friend’s career as an Instagram influencer isn’t going to work out doesn’t mean that you should tell them. Let them dream! Aquarius […]

Satire

The Scopes!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Just because your roommate put their fancy pumpkin-flavored drinks on YOUR side of the fridge doesn’t mean that you should drink them all. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): […]