Hobbies of student with stickerless laptop complete mystery

Ryan Cook- Despite having numerous friends and extracurricular activities, peers and classmates of junior Daniel Richards say that they know little to nothing about his hobbies due to a startling lack of stickers on his laptop. Aside from acquaintances and strangers, even longtime friends say that Richards’ interests are still unknown to them after knowing…

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Stoutonia CEO Resigns Following Chipotle Scandal

Ryan Cook- “I did this for the sake of the company, and for the thousands of people we let down.” Those were the final words spoken by Stoutonia CEO Clint Gundrum before he formally resigned from his position. Gundrum’s son Matthew, who remains employed as the Editor-in-Chief, has yet to make a formal comment on…

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Stout Creates New Sport, Gets Beat by Whitewater

Logan Myhre- It is a well-known fact around the UW–Stout Campus, and the rest of the state, that Stout’s sports are hardly the pride and joy of the campus community. Anything involving a ball, racket, puck, club or coordination is sure to throw the university for a loop. So in an effort to finally be…

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Student-Athlete Spotlight: Bill Loney

Evan Thue- It’s a talent many of us have, but none have really mastered. No, it’s not break dancing, this is the sport of collegiate shoe-tying. In an interview with the senior Business major and inventor of the sport, Bill Loney (Fr, Portland, Ore) described how he came up with the idea: “I was tying…

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Chipotle comes to 503

DISCLAIMER: This article is Satire (not real/meant to be comical) Hannah Lundquist Menomonie is no stranger to student housing on and off campus. Last year, right in the heart of downtown, the 503 Broadway apartment complex was built. The building is brand new, and the main level has room for shops. Since it was built,…

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Russian Influence revealed in SSA election

Joseph Gulotta Scandal hits Campus as the Stout Director of Intelligence released its report, which unequivocally stated that Russian hackers had partaken in a multifaceted attempt to influence the 2016 election of the 2016-2017 Stout Student Association’s Executive Board. This report came as a shock to the students at UW–Stout, as the integrity and position…

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To Go Green, Chancellor Bob Announces the Removal of Parking Lots

Hannah Lundquist- In the past few years, UW–Stout has made several considerable efforts towards becoming a much more ‘green’ campus. We now have recycling programs, renewable energy plans, public transportation and water bottle fill stations, to name a few. To take it another step further and work on another large ‘green’ project, Stout has decided…

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A Mariah Carey Nightmare on Friday the 13th

Shannon Hoyt After a failed attempt at a performance on New Year’s Eve, Mariah Carey had fallen into a state of embarrassment. Seeking redemption, she was looking to reperform an identical show for any stage that would take her. However, national platforms had not shown interest in her mission. A few weeks after Carey’s proposition,…

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Jeffstock brings music legend Bono to campus

Cameron Parrucci- Menomonie locals and pizza fans, rejoice! Bono — U2 frontman, humanitarian and businessman — is making his way to the University of Wisconsin–Stout. This spring, Bono and U2 are headlining one of the most revolutionary music festivals Wisconsin has ever seen. Bono has coined the name of the festival “Jeffstock,” a non-profit event…

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Standing No-vation

Sam Kilgard- Student Keenan Jones, aka “The Magnificent Jones” takes center stage for the first time in his life. He breathes in and out slowly, trying to calm his nerves. He looks out at the sea of people filling the Memorial Student Center’s Great Hall. Eyes are  glued directly to the tall, top-hat-wearing, tuxedoed magician,…

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Supercomputer Stumped By Child

Ryan Curtis- On January 21, the supercomputer Deep Blue 2 failed to defeat a 5-year-old child at the game “Purrplexed.” Deep Blue 2 was created by International Business Machines (IBM). IBM’s highly publicized product is a supercomputer that can learn how to play any game that is presented to it and claimed to be able…

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Infectious disease strikes UW-Stout

Mary Peters- “CAUTION” and “DANGER” are some of the various signs being posted along the roads leading up to UW–Stout, as the campus has been hit by an extremely infectious, extremely contagious disease. Medical students from around the tri-state area have been asked to attempt to uncover anything that could help ease the symptoms of…

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Professor Spotlight: Dr. Professorman

Ryan Cook- The Professional Communication and Emerging Media program, commonly shortened to PCEM, has several professors who give their students a truly unique experience. We asked students in the major to choose who to feature in this special Professor Spotlight, and the poll received an astounding number of responses. Nearly 85 percent of PCEM students…

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