Chancellor Bob Meyer Offers Free Tuition to “Any Scrub Good Enough to Beat Me in Smash Bros.”

Cam “Dirt is High in Fiber!” Parrucci – 

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, the titular game on Nintendo Switch from the acclaimed Super Smash Bros. series, has taken the world by storm. People all over are excited to duke it out between their favorite Nintendo and video game legends.

UW-Stout is no exception to the Smash Bros phenomenon. Hundreds of students have been heard talking about it, and Stout’s own Blue Devil Smash club has been awaiting this game’s release with bated breath.

Another less-expected individual who has caught the Smash bug is our own Bob Meyer, Chancellor of UW-Stout, who’s recently issued a rather interesting challenge.

One day after the release of Smash Bros. Ultimate, Bob Meyer issued a confident challenge to offer a full-ride, tuition-free attendance to UW-Stout for anyone able to beat him in a match of Smash Bros.

“I’m basically unbeatable. I know the frame data, the combos, the tier lists. I don’t care if you’re a Bayonetta, Zero Suit, or a Diddy Kong main, I’m unbeatable. None of you for-glory dweebs could possibly take me!”

While an alarming statement from a professional in the UW-System, sources have confirmed that none of his peers have been able to beat Meyer to this date.

“Am I confident in my Smash abilities? You bet your butt I am. One v. one me, bro. No items. Fox only. Final destination. I’ll show any of these scrubs what it really means to play Smash Bros.”

Challenges are always open, and there’s no doubt that anyone able to beat Meyer would go down in the history of both UW-Stout and video games forever.