Due to what is now being classified as a Stage IV emergency, officials are warning those who plan to visit any of the several bars in downtown Menomonie to stay at home for the remainder of Kevin’s 21st birthday.
The earliest reports of the event were from near the Stout Alehouse, as that was the first stop in a party that went on to last several more hours across town. Several witnesses report being deafened by the noise alone, as at least three of Kevin’s partygoers had brought along airhorns to the establishment. “My wife and I finally had time off to get a babysitter and have a nice night out,” said local Menomonie resident Bruce Chaffen, “but if we knew that Kevin was turning 21, we would’ve stayed inside. Maybe even gone to a hotel in Eau Claire.”
It’s no understatement that the excessive hooting and hollering of the celebrating students shook up the lives of those unlucky enough to have been present for Kevin’s stay at any number of the bars he went to. A spokesperson for The Abbey has told Stoutonia that they plan on shutting down business until further notice, as Kevin’s friends went through their entire supply of hard liquor even though the group was only there for about 45 minutes. Multiple other bars around town have cited similar damages, so time will tell if they’ll be ready for Kevin’s graduation party in a few months.