Student-Athlete Spotlight

This issue’s Student-Athlete Spotlight is Gavin Smith, a senior on the University of Wisconsin-Stout ice hockey team. Smith is a Business administration major from Savage, Minnesota.   Why did you choose Stout? The reason I chose Stout was because Jerry Watkins recruited me to play hockey and I thought it was a good fit. I…

Continue Reading

Polar Vortex Brings Students Indoors

Josh Nehs – Wisconsin and the rest of the Midwest were met with cold temperatures that cancelled schools and businesses during the last week of January. The temperatures broke records, reaching a range between negative 40 and negative 65 degrees Fahrenheit with the wind chill. The intensity of the cold would cause frostbite within minutes….

Continue Reading

The Scopes!

Cam “I Demand Attention” Parrucci – Aquarius: You will be haunted by the ghosts of all of the socks you’ve lost doing laundry over the years. You’ll never get a good night’s sleep again! Pisces: It may be the middle of winter in Wisconsin, but bees will begin showing up in your room for the…

Continue Reading

Student-Artist Spotlight: Rosalie Mattair

Bryce Parr – Rosalie Mattair is a University of Wisconsin-Stout junior studying entertainment design with a concentration in comics and sequential art. Mattair is a resident of Sussex, Wisconsin but originally hailed from Jacksonville, Florida. What sparked your interest in art and design? Nothing sparked it. It’s just always been there. What styles or mediums…

Continue Reading

I Don’t Even Know Anymore

Cam “Roller Coaster Tycoon 2” Parrucci – At this point, what even is there to say? The world is on fire! Have you watched the news lately? Or rather, with our reader base of college students, have you checked Twitter lately? All the time there is stuff going on, political debates, weird memes, the world…

Continue Reading

Menomonie High School Students Attend First Hour Classes Without Hangovers After Rehab Reopens Dry

Bryce Parr – Teachers in the Menomonie Area School District report that students are agitated and excitable during morning classes after the closure of Rehab. “Classes used to be quiet and manageable. Students kept to themselves and didn’t cause any trouble. Now everyone is hootin’ and hollerin’ at each other like a bunch of wetland…

Continue Reading

Scientists Report a Spike in the Menomonie Hipster Population After the Opening of Two Craft Breweries

Bryce Parr – A new generation of beanie-clad beer-drinkers have migrated to some of the areas surrounding the Red Cedar River. “They appear to be heavily concentrated around Zymurgy Brewing Company. and Brewery Nonic, and Lucette Brewing Company. We have been studying this herd since they arrived,” said population scientist Flatter Thurr. Scientists report that…

Continue Reading

The Truth: Chocolate Milk

Audrey Tchaa – Milk. There are different types of milk. Dairy, almond, soy, cashew, strawberry, and everyone’s favorite: chocolate. Chuck Kowlick, a food science professor at University of Wisconsin-Stout recently discovered chocolate milk does, in fact, come from brown spotted cows. Kowlick goes into depth of how he made this discovery during his 15-year research…

Continue Reading

Campus Construction Predicted to Never Ever End

Katie Schulzetenberg – As many are aware of, a couple of the buildings here on campus have been under extensive construction for a while now. North Hall is being completely reconstructed and as a result, students have been moved to Tainter Hall which had to be updated before they moved in. The Commons is being…

Continue Reading

The College Student’s After Holiday Shopping Guide

Josh Nehs – Welcome back to the University of Wisconsin-Stout, students! After a holiday season full of overbearing family, estranged friends from high school and working full-time, we here at the Stoutonia are sure you are looking to blow off a little steam. After working over break and receiving money for the holidays, your next…

Continue Reading

Local Teens Found Throwing Party in White House Amidst Government Shut-Down

Elizabeth Vierkant – Several weeks into the government shutdown, the country becoming restless. This includes the local Washington D.C. teenagers itching for a little something exciting to do. On January 22nd, fourteen students from Fortew Entee High School were found by White House employee Amanda Brock. These youths were discovered with multitudes of contraband such…

Continue Reading