Smooth Criminals (Dec. 8)

By Eric Koeppel —

Two were cited for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia in Wigen Hall. Sources confirm that when the cops showed up the students were totally “Wigen out.”

Police and fire were dispatched to a fire alarm in Antrim Hall. A potato burning in the microwave was the cause of the problem. ​A similar situation occurred later that day when some genius tried to cook a radish in the toaster.

A resident walked through a residence hall reeking of marijuana. Police were notified and they subsequently searched his room and car. He was cited for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. In related news, it looks like Axe body spray just got themselves a new customer.

Officers responded to a noise complaint in Chinnock Hall.  After making contact, three were cited for underage consumption of alcohol and listening to “The Spin Doctors” in the year 2014.

The smell of raw marijuana caught the attention of officers in South Hall.  Two residents were cited for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia which they learned is still illegal in Wisconsin. Oh, great, another drug bust! I’m sorry, but is this a college campus or a Smash Mouth concert? ​

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