Smooth Criminals (Oct. 22)

By Jeff Gebert —

A student was cited for urinating on the General Services building. He was kind enough to tell the officer that it didn’t matter because “it’s just a building.” You can’t say he’s wrong.

A female student was cited for public urination after she was found urinating in the garden in front of the library. So…. don’t cut through the garden on your way to class.

A resident of Wigen Hall was cited for smoking in his dorm room. Even though smoking inside living spaces hasn’t been legal since like 1999, this genius thought he could get away with it.

Three males were caught sneaking into the University of Wisconsin–Stout homecoming football game through an unauthorized gate. They were found to have been consuming alcohol underage. They were cited accordingly, but after finding out the Blue Devils lost 37-0, they instantly regretted attempting to sneak into the game at all.

A student was arrested for delivery of marijuana from a residence hall. The next day he was arrested again for possession with intent to deliver marijuana in Lot 4. Guess it was just not his week.

Construction workers discovered bones underneath Harvey Hall when they tore up part of the floor. The floor had been in place for over 100 years. Police were notified. It was determined that the bones were not human remains and construction was resumed. I know, I was concerned for a minute there too.

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