Smooth Criminals (Nov. 17)

By Jeff “The Shark” Gebert —

A stolen iPhone was recovered by police and returned to the owner. The phone was stolen about a year ago, and thus, is now incredibly outdated.

A road rage incident ended in a residence hall parking lot. The aggressor in the case was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct, but after the way I’ve seen you guys park, I don’t blame him for getting upset.

A student broke into the Vocational Rehabilitation building in the middle of the night. He was apprehended in the building and charged accordingly. He was also underage and found to be intoxicated with several fake ID cards. The subject reported being aware he was in the wrong Rehab when he noticed there was no dance floor, burritos or overpriced drinks.

A lost wallet was turned over to police. The owner was contacted. He came and looked through the wallet claiming everything to be his. The officer then cited him for the fake ID that was also in the wallet. The subject was upset to get a ticket, but relieved to get his Blockbuster card back.

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