Standing No-vation

Sam Kilgard-

Student Keenan Jones, aka “The Magnificent Jones” takes center stage for the first time in his life. He breathes in and out slowly, trying to calm his nerves. He looks out at the sea of people filling the Memorial Student Center’s Great Hall. Eyes are  glued directly to the tall, top-hat-wearing, tuxedoed magician, eagerly waiting to see what he has in store.

Among those waiting are the Magnificent Jones’s parents, sitting in the front row. Mark and Jackie have heard about their son’s talents via Facebook, but have never witnessed them live. They were all too excited to finally have the chance.

The Magnificent announces boldly that he will perform one of the most difficult magic tricks ever: he will make a rabbit appear out of his hat. He glances at his parents, but only for a second, before he begins his performance.

Cracking his neck and fingers, Jones takes off his hat and holds it up for all to see. He turns around briefly, then returns to face the crowd, a rabbit in his right hand and his hat in his left. The Magnificent proudly puts his hat back on and stands in the spotlight, smiling from ear to ear and awaiting his thunderous applause.

The crowd slowly starts clapping as they realize that what they had just witnessed wasn’t much of a trick and that the Magnificent Jones wasn’t really all that magnificent. His parents, in the front row, immediately stand, screaming at the top of their lungs for their magical son. But Mark and Jackie soon realize their boy needs more applause, and they both turn to the crowd and scream “Is that all you’ve got?”

Mark and Jackie do not rest until their proud magical son has all of the applause they feel he deserves, and, as they told the crowd, “No one will be leaving until we feel he has received adequate support,” which only took 20 minutes more than the actual performance. It’s safe to say the Magnificent Jones won’t be gracing the UW–Stout stages ever again.