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Columns

The Scopes

Ryan Cook —   Aries (March 21 – April 19) –     Send all your your extra phones to the Menomonie Electronics Zone! For a limited time only, any cellular device can be exchanged for it’s full […]

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Columns

The Scopes

Ryan Cook —   Aries (March 21 – April 19) –          Now is the time to invest! Buy some stocks, get some bonds and please consider funding my band’s new Kickstarter campaign. Taurus (April 20 – […]

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Columns

Horoscopes

Ryan Cook —   Aries (March 21 – April 19) –  Your self-control will be tested this week during a class trip when an unfortunate accident at the Wisconsin Cloning Facility sends multiple copies of yourself […]

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Columns

THE ‘SCOPES

By Ryan Cook —   Aries (March 21 – April 19) –This week, you will inadvertently hang out with that one weird guy from your Wednesday class. The stars are sorry, but there was nothing they […]

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Columns

The ‘Scopes

By Ryan Cook —   Aries (March 21 – April 19) – Don’t think anyone is fooled. Laughing loudly at your own jokes doesn’t make them any funnier.   Taurus (April 20 – May 20) – You will […]

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Columns

Horoscopes

By Ryan Cook —   Aries (March 21 – April 19) –Hoarding old newspapers is one thing, but this week you’ll go one step further by beginning a multi decade long crusade to collect every printing […]

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Columns

Horroscopes

Contributed by Ryan Cook —   Aries (March 21 – April 19) You have always enjoyed eating snacks after class, but not after reading. Studies show it is the leading cause of death in your demographic. […]

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Columns

Horrid-scopes

Contributed by Ryan Cook — Aries (March 21 – April 19) You’re going to meet the love of your life this week, after all these years of waiting. That’s what you want to hear, isn’t […]

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Columns

Horrorscopes

contributed by Ryan Cook — Aries (March 21 – April 19) – Some pictures you took of yourself during high school will surface online this week. While at the time it seemed like a good idea, […]

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Columns

Horror-scopes

Contributed by Ryan Cook — Aries (March 21 – April 19) –       You have always enjoyed eating snacks after class, but not after reading. Studies show it is the leading cause of death in your […]

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Columns

Horoscopes

contributed by Ryan Cook   Aries (March 21 – April 19) –       You will wake up one day in a cold sweat, with vivid memories of a dream you had involving your cousin. As hard […]