Aries – Halloween may be over, but there’s still leftover Halloween candy out there somewhere! Get your costume on, and get ready to do some breaking and entering.
Taurus – Treat yourself and rent “The Emoji Movie” from your local video rental store this weekend.
Gemini – It’s up to you to bring back Pond Hockey to Stout. Yes, even if you get arrested doing it.
Cancer – As long as you’re alive, disco will never die. Always remember that.
Leo – It’s SO crazy that you haven’t watched “Stranger Things!” Woah! You’re so quirky and individual!
Virgo – Hey, are you gonna finish those chicken nuggets? Yeah? Oh, okay. You sure?
Libra – Add a little hot sauce to your meals to add some spice to your incredibly uneventful and boring life.
Scorpio – What even is a Scorpio? Like some kind of weird scorpion? Hahaha, dude….
Sagittarius – Be a good person and let your cousin Paul borrow your car; he has a hot date with “that one Wal-Mart greeter” this Friday.
Capricorn – You deserve a day off. Take a day, order some pizza, drink some wine and watch a few seasons of “Hoarders.”
Aquarius – Can you believe this weather? Crazy, huh? Wow.
Pisces – Pick that chin up, Pisces! You’re going to wake up with a treasure map tattooed on your back that will lead to your phone that you lost at a party last week.