Aries – Skate or die, Aries. You either skate, or you die.
Taurus – Newsflash, Taurus, you don’t need to be a skater to wear a Thrasher shirt. Don’t be such a tool.
Gemini – Everything is coming together, Gemini! You’re going to get a copy of Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4 for Playstation 2 for Christmas!
Cancer – I think there’s a stark lack of graffiti in your life. Paint the town with skulls and flames and see the changes that will happen!
Leo – Skating mongo is only cool if you’ve been skating for years, you know.
Virgo – For the last time, your longboard isn’t a skateboard. Stop ruining skate culture, you pig.
Libra – You deserve a break. Order a pizza, throw back a few PBRs and hit the skate park.
Scorpio – Doing an ollie is still a trick! Stop being such a bully!
Sagittarius – Great news, Sagittarius, somehow, your cousin Paul just went pro. You’re going to the X Games as his plus one!
Capricorn – Yes dude, skeletons and skateboarding are so cool, so cool.
Aquarius – Keep working on that nollie frontside pop shuvit into a backside lip grind. You’re gonna get it soon.
Pisces – Here’s another skating related horoscope!