Cam Parrucci –
Aquarius – The stars will be aligned in the coming days to help you realize your dreams,
Aquarius. It’s shame you’ll be mauled by a bear and stuck in a coma before it happens.
Pisces – Remember, anything you find without someone’s name written clearly on it is now
yours. Yes, especially that unlocked car!
Aries – It’s so inspiring and unique that you love both The Office and Africa by Toto! Never
before has a living human enjoyed both of those things.
Taurus – After years of searching for it, you’re finally going to find that sick guitar chord you’ve
been searching for. And for some reason, cheese. Lots and lots of cheese.
Gemini – Never forget that there’s a vine compilation out there for every emotion you feel, you
little roller coaster, you.
Leo – It’s time to bring and old fad back, and it’s up to you to do it. Start texting with a signature
Virgo – It’s time to choose, Virgo! Choose what, you ask? Don’t ask me, I’m a pieces.
Libra – Halloween is coming up soon, Libra! This will be the year you finally pull off that sexy
Waluigi costume you’ve been working on for so long.
Scorpio – Remember, your professors have feelings too. Don’t forget to laugh really hard any
time they say a swear word.
Saggitarius – Some new and juicy information is coming your way soon! You need to hide,
quick. Many secret orders and governments will be after you.
Capricorn – You never know if you’re the Hulk until you actually get angry enough. Come on
and try, you mean, green, fighting machine!