UW-Stout bought by Totino’s for $2.5 Million

Following what has been heralded as the beginning of a new age for higher education, the University of Wisconsin-Stout has announced that it will be formally exiting the UW-System next year after being acquired by pizza giant Totino’s. Staff and faculty are being shuffled around or let go, and first among them is the current Chancellor, Bob Meyer.

 

Stoutonia has reached out to the administration for any comment on the situation, and received only a pre-made statement: “UW-Stout is proud to be welcomed into the Totino’s family of products and we will continue striving to provide a polytechnic experience for all current and future students.” While $2.5 million may seem low for an entire university, Pepsico’s 2015 acquisition of University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee was only for a mere $57,000.

 

Reports are surfacing that several changes will be implemented once the merger is complete, such as new on-campus food and meal plan alterations; many have expressed concern that vegan students may not fare well with the new mandatory-pizza-consumption rule. Several buildings on campus will also be renamed in honor of the new corporate ownership. Jarvis and Heritage will be changed to Sausage and Ranch-Blasted, respectively. All incoming students will also now be given a complimentary bag of pizza rolls along with their laptops.