What’s NOT Happening in Menomonie

DISCLAIMER: This article is Satire (not real/meant to be comical)

Monday, March 19

Meet and Greet with the Godfather @ Waterfront Bar and Grill

           1:14 a.m.

Roller skating with Jeff Goldblum @ Dunn County Ice Arena

           4:26 – 6:09 p.m.

 

Tuesday, March 20

Debating with that one annoying kid in your Stats class who knows nothing @ McDonald’s Parking Lot

          High noon

National Punch a Book Day @ Menomonie Public Library

          12:56 a.m.

Wednesday, March 21

Watching the Kardashians in complete silence @ HKMC Front Desk

          2:22 p.m.

John-Ralphio Saperstein signing his new book I Got Hit By a Lexus @ Bookends on Main

          4:20 p.m.

 

Thursday, March 22

Eating as many pancakes as physically possible @ Denny’s

          1:13-1:49 p.m.

D&D Campaign @ some guy’s basement

           10 p.m. – 4 a.m.

 

Friday, March 23

The Reasonablists meeting for Zorp the Surveyor @ Wakanda Park

          7 p.m.

Captain Holt fanclub @ BP Gas station

         4:30 – 7:30 p.m.

         Cost: $11

 

Saturday, March 24

Thumb Wrestling with Eric @ Wal-Mart parking lot

          All day

Emoji Movie viewing @ Applied Arts 210

          8 a.m. – 1 p.m.

          Cost: $17//in advance & $18//at the door

Sunday, March 25

Kanye discussing Kanye @ MSC, Ballroom A

          All day

          Cost: $99.99/hour

Iron Man fan club with special guest Tony Stark @ Jarvis Hall

          1 p.m.

 

Monday, March 26

Find sleeping students and paint their nails @ UW-Stout Library

          6:30-9 p.m.

Warrior Cats Podcast live recording @ Marion’s Legacy

          6-7:43 p.m.

          Cost: $250 for all 6 sessions

 

Tuesday, March 27

Stare at the wall @ Heritage 304

           1-3:30 p.m.

Very Good Building and Development Co. meeting @ Dunn County Government Center, Room 58

           6-6:12 p.m.

 

Wednesday, March 28

Solitaire Tournament @ Stoutonia Office

           4-7 a.m.

Square Dancing with Andy Dwyer @ Mabel Tainter

          7:30-9:30 p.m.

          Cost: $25-35

 

Thursday, March 29

Staring contest @ MSC Great Hall

          6:15 – 10 p.m.

Shooting a bunch of rubber bands at Bryce @ Raw Deal

          6:37 p.m.

 

Friday, March 30

Treat Yo Self @ Oakwood Mall

           3-8 p.m.

          Cost: treat yo self

Stress Baking @ Commons

          4:30 – 7:30 p.m.

 

Saturday, March 31

9th Annual Harvest Festival @ Wakanda Park

          1-3:18 a.m.

Churn Your Own Butter @ Behind Wakanda Elementary School

          8-9 p.m.