DISCLAIMER: This article is Satire (not real/meant to be comical)
Monday, March 19
Meet and Greet with the Godfather @ Waterfront Bar and Grill
Roller skating with Jeff Goldblum @ Dunn County Ice Arena
4:26 – 6:09 p.m.
Tuesday, March 20
Debating with that one annoying kid in your Stats class who knows nothing @ McDonald’s Parking Lot
National Punch a Book Day @ Menomonie Public Library
Wednesday, March 21
Watching the Kardashians in complete silence @ HKMC Front Desk
John-Ralphio Saperstein signing his new book I Got Hit By a Lexus @ Bookends on Main
Thursday, March 22
Eating as many pancakes as physically possible @ Denny’s
D&D Campaign @ some guy’s basement
10 p.m. – 4 a.m.
Friday, March 23
The Reasonablists meeting for Zorp the Surveyor @ Wakanda Park
Captain Holt fanclub @ BP Gas station
4:30 – 7:30 p.m.
Saturday, March 24
Thumb Wrestling with Eric @ Wal-Mart parking lot
Emoji Movie viewing @ Applied Arts 210
8 a.m. – 1 p.m.
Cost: $17//in advance & $18//at the door
Sunday, March 25
Kanye discussing Kanye @ MSC, Ballroom A
Iron Man fan club with special guest Tony Stark @ Jarvis Hall
Monday, March 26
Find sleeping students and paint their nails @ UW-Stout Library
Warrior Cats Podcast live recording @ Marion’s Legacy
Cost: $250 for all 6 sessions
Tuesday, March 27
Stare at the wall @ Heritage 304
Very Good Building and Development Co. meeting @ Dunn County Government Center, Room 58
Wednesday, March 28
Solitaire Tournament @ Stoutonia Office
Square Dancing with Andy Dwyer @ Mabel Tainter
Thursday, March 29
Staring contest @ MSC Great Hall
6:15 – 10 p.m.
Shooting a bunch of rubber bands at Bryce @ Raw Deal
Friday, March 30
Treat Yo Self @ Oakwood Mall
Cost: treat yo self
Stress Baking @ Commons
4:30 – 7:30 p.m.
Saturday, March 31
9th Annual Harvest Festival @ Wakanda Park
Churn Your Own Butter @ Behind Wakanda Elementary School