Ryan Cook 


Stating that he recently overheard a conversation you and your other friend were having about a popular contemporary issue, that one guy you know recently announced his plans to play Devil’s Advocate. He notes that everything he says will be, for the most part, irrelevant to what was originally discussed. Additionally, he made a promise to ramble briefly about how none of the beliefs he will speak of are actually his own despite how eager he is to share them. “I think that it’s important to hear each side of an argument, and so I’ve made it my mission to fulfill that role in your conversation,” said the guy who most likely spends a large amount of his free time posting in the comments section on various social media pages. A representative of that guy stresses that despite his client’s heavy schedule of moderating a Korean woodcarving message board, he will make the time to also give you an interesting spin on your conversation that might not have occurred to you before. “[That guy]’s dedicated. Once, he spent thirty minutes explaining to me why my favorite TV show was actually terrible, even though I’ve enjoyed it for years. I stopped watching it the very next day. He’s very good at what he does.” While there has yet to be any word on how long his interjection into your conversation will last, sources are pointing towards ten to fifteen minutes at the least.

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