The ‘Scopes!
By Ryan Cook — Aries (March 21 – April 19) –This week, you will inadvertently hang out with that one weird guy from your Wednesday class. The stars are sorry,…
By Ryan Cook — Aries (March 21 – April 19) –This week, you will inadvertently hang out with that one weird guy from your Wednesday class. The stars are sorry,…
By Ryan Cook — Aries (March 21 – April 19) – Don’t think anyone is fooled. Laughing loudly at your own jokes doesn’t make them any funnier. Taurus (April 20…
By Ryan Cook — According to multiple sources in the Menomonie area, a UW–Stout Freshman has announced that they plan on staying up all night to work on some homework…
By Ryan Cook — Aries (March 21 – April 19) –Hoarding old newspapers is one thing, but this week you’ll go one step further by beginning a multi decade long…
Contributed by Ryan Cook — Aries (March 21 – April 19) You have always enjoyed eating snacks after class, but not after reading. Studies show it is the leading cause…
Contributed by Ryan Cook — Aries (March 21 – April 19) You’re going to meet the love of your life this week, after all these years of waiting. That’s what…
contributed by Ryan Cook — Aries (March 21 – April 19) – Some pictures you took of yourself during high school will surface online this week. While at the time…
Contributed by Ryan Cook — Aries (March 21 – April 19) – You have always enjoyed eating snacks after class, but not after reading. Studies show it is the leading…
By Connor Dahlin — “It was crazy! The Stoutonia crew just ran wild across campus,” said a casual bystander and UW–Stout freshman, Nahso Lucky. “I wouldn’t have known it was…
contributed by Ryan Cook Aries (March 21 – April 19) – You will wake up one day in a cold sweat, with vivid memories of a dream you had involving…
By Connor Dahlin — At the beginning of the year, the campus was lacking the presence of our beloved Blaze the Blue Devil. But in all the years I’ve attended…
By Gus Wolter, Squirrel Correspondent — Dear Chancellor Meyer, I hope this correspondence finds you in good health, although regrettably I am writing you concerning a topic of somber importance.…
By Connor Dahlin — On August 32, locals were shocked to see a gleaming silver vessel hovering over the longstanding trademark of Stout, the Bowman Bell Tower. “I was just…
“Tell my girlfriend Emma Stone that I love her and please, for the love of God, make sure that my award-winning satire column lives on forever!” These were the last…
By Eric Koeppel — On a typical summer’s day, Menomonie resident Geoff Gerbert enjoys nothing more than basking in the morning sun while partaking in his ceremonial backstroke across Lake…
By Ericc Koeppel — Do to reasons unknown to the rest of the Stoutonia staff, all of the copy editors have decided to throw in the vowel. However, because of…