Ryan Cook-

Stating that she has just finished preschool and is already very artistically skilled, Chancellor Bob announced this past week that his 5-year-old niece Becky would be commissioned to design the new UW–Stout ID card. Citing her recent accomplishments of getting a finger-painted portrait hung up on Mrs. DeLorenzo’s classroom wall, the Chancellor stresses that this decision was not reached lightly. “…Becky is a very talented artist who is just now beginning to put her work out there.”

He went on to remind the campus that his niece has a very impressive portfolio of work ranging from avant garde sketches to full-color illustrations, nearly half of which are colored within the lines. A few designs have already been submitted as prototypes, including one featuring what we can only assume is Chancellor Bob driving what appears to be a red car with two wheels and no headlights. “For years we’ve been looking at some of the best graphic design work in the state, and that should be all the more reason to trust Becky’s vision. And sure, some might say that we just redesigned the student ID cards a few years ago, but this is an opportunity we didn’t want to miss,” the Chancellor told our reporter.

“After all, she’ll be going to Kindergarten next year, and I can’t begin to tell you how many offers she’ll be dealing with at that point.” When asked whether or not she would pursue a degree in the field of art later in life, Becky reportedly shrugged and began listing off her favorite kinds of dragons.

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