Ryan Cook-

Report: 60 to 70 percent of the people you went to high school with probably rich by now


Based on the results from a new study released earlier this week, approximately 60 to 70 percent of people you attended high school with are most likely extremely wealthy by now.


Researchers made it explicitly clear that while most of your former classmates may not have immense wealth at this time, it’s very probable that they have secured high-paying jobs even before graduating. “We’ve looked at all of the cliques from your high school. Most of the jocks and even some of the band geeks are probably all very well off by this point.”


It’s not yet known how all of these people who were at one point in time at the same level of preparedness for the outside world made their theoretical wealth, though experts have a theory. “We believe that most, if not all, of your former peers changed their life trajectory in favor of doing whatever it is that you’re doing,” said Clyde Masterson, one of the researchers involved in the study. “The only difference is that they’re doing it much better than you could ever hope to do yourself. Of that much we’re 100 percent sure.”
The friends that you occasionally keep in touch with from high school are most likely doing better than you as well, though Tyler’s newfound addiction to heroin is expected to make you feel a bit more okay with your current life situation.

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