Evan Thue-

It’s a talent many of us have, but none have really mastered. No, it’s not break dancing, this is the sport of collegiate shoe-tying.

In an interview with the senior Business major and inventor of the sport, Bill Loney (Fr, Portland, Ore) described how he came up with the idea: “I was tying my shoes one day when I realized that I was pretty good at it. Once I realized that I was good at it, that’s when I decided that I wanted to make it competitive.”

Bill’s speed at shoe tying increased dramatically and his reputation spread rapidly throughout campus. Students all around campus now know him as the 2-second-shoe-man.

“I never asked for any nicknames,” said Bill, “Guys on my floor noticed that I tied my shoes freakishly fast and more and more people just started to notice.”


Bill joked that he created the sport just to see Stout finally beat Whitewater at something, but of course Whitewater got word of it and recruited three of the top shoe-tying talents and beat Stout in their first ever contest.

When asked how he plans on beating Whitewater, Bill shrugged and just got back to tying his shoes.

His current training regimen consists of getting up at 5 a.m. and eating three raw eggs, two hours on the treadmill, eating an entire wheel of cheese, then three hours of non-stop tying and untying of his shoes.

“The faster you can untie them, the faster you can retie them.” Bill said.

It’s Bill Loney’s constant determination to defeat Whitewater at something that drives him to such extensive training.

“I just want to prove that UWStout has the best shoe-tiers in the entire nation.”
As the semester advances and Bill continues to train, that leaves one last question: how fast can you tie your shoes? If you think you’re fast enough, then open tryouts will be held on January 31st, at 7 am in the MPR in the Johnson Fieldhouse.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *