Cam Parrucci-


Aquarius – Do you actually think pineapple belongs on pizza? Like actually? Huh, okay.

Pisces – Whether it’s frozen or delivered, baked or grilled, pizza is still pizza. Think about that, it’s a rule to live by.

Aries – Many people have already met their future partner in life without realizing it. For you, it was the slightly overweight pizza delivery guy that came to your place a few weeks ago.

Taurus – You know what? Never mind, pineapple does belong on pizza! You’re right!

Gemini – What’s the point of Papa Murphy’s anyway? They don’t deliver or even bake the pizza. It’s just as disappointing as your GPA this semester.

Cancer – The stars have discovered your future, and your first child will be conceived in the bathroom of a Pizza Ranch. There’s no getting around it at this point.

Leo – If hot dogs are sandwiches, who’s to say pizza can’t also be a sandwich? You’ve got toasted bread, meat, cheese, vegetables, I mean, come on!

Virgo – Stop calling cheese a pizza topping. Cheese is on pizza ALWAYS. It’s not a topping, Virgo.

Libra – Toppers boxes are a piece of UW-Stout culture, Libra! Celebrate the pizza boxes, leave them in your room, ignore the smell!

Scorpio – Sometimes a Little Caesar’s $5 value pizza hits the spot when you’re low on cash. Not everything needs to be made of solid gold, you know.

Sagittarius – Cold pizza is always great, but don’t eat it frozen like your cousin Paul does. That’s seriously weird.

Capricorn – At this point, what can’t go on pizza? Seriously, try something new! Watermelon, cereal? Live a little!

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