DISCLAIMER: This article is Satire (not real/meant to be comical)
Monday, March 19
Meet and Greet with the Godfather @ Waterfront Bar and Grill
1:14 a.m.
Roller skating with Jeff Goldblum @ Dunn County Ice Arena
4:26 – 6:09 p.m.
Tuesday, March 20
Debating with that one annoying kid in your Stats class who knows nothing @ McDonald’s Parking Lot
High noon
National Punch a Book Day @ Menomonie Public Library
12:56 a.m.
Wednesday, March 21
Watching the Kardashians in complete silence @ HKMC Front Desk
2:22 p.m.
John-Ralphio Saperstein signing his new book I Got Hit By a Lexus @ Bookends on Main
4:20 p.m.
Thursday, March 22
Eating as many pancakes as physically possible @ Denny’s
1:13-1:49 p.m.
D&D Campaign @ some guy’s basement
10 p.m. – 4 a.m.
Friday, March 23
The Reasonablists meeting for Zorp the Surveyor @ Wakanda Park
7 p.m.
Captain Holt fanclub @ BP Gas station
4:30 – 7:30 p.m.
Cost: $11
Saturday, March 24
Thumb Wrestling with Eric @ Wal-Mart parking lot
All day
Emoji Movie viewing @ Applied Arts 210
8 a.m. – 1 p.m.
Cost: $17//in advance & $18//at the door
Sunday, March 25
Kanye discussing Kanye @ MSC, Ballroom A
All day
Cost: $99.99/hour
Iron Man fan club with special guest Tony Stark @ Jarvis Hall
1 p.m.
Monday, March 26
Find sleeping students and paint their nails @ UW-Stout Library
6:30-9 p.m.
Warrior Cats Podcast live recording @ Marion’s Legacy
6-7:43 p.m.
Cost: $250 for all 6 sessions
Tuesday, March 27
Stare at the wall @ Heritage 304
1-3:30 p.m.
Very Good Building and Development Co. meeting @ Dunn County Government Center, Room 58
6-6:12 p.m.
Wednesday, March 28
Solitaire Tournament @ Stoutonia Office
4-7 a.m.
Square Dancing with Andy Dwyer @ Mabel Tainter
7:30-9:30 p.m.
Cost: $25-35
Thursday, March 29
Staring contest @ MSC Great Hall
6:15 – 10 p.m.
Shooting a bunch of rubber bands at Bryce @ Raw Deal
6:37 p.m.
Friday, March 30
Treat Yo Self @ Oakwood Mall
3-8 p.m.
Cost: treat yo self
Stress Baking @ Commons
4:30 – 7:30 p.m.
Saturday, March 31
9th Annual Harvest Festival @ Wakanda Park
1-3:18 a.m.
Churn Your Own Butter @ Behind Wakanda Elementary School
8-9 p.m.