The Girl Scout cookie stand outside of the Memorial Student Center was raging with controversy on the night of February 29th.
As I was walking up to the MSC, I saw a man with a mullet wearing a poorly fitted suit flailing his arms around in a frustrated manner at a girl scout stand, so I decided to see what it was all about.
After loudly proclaiming that he was a business administration student, a future CEO, and that he knows what he’s talking about, he told the two middle school aged girls that sitting down while on the job is lazy and equates to a bad work ethic, and that they will never make it out of retail with that attitude.
It then escalated when he tried to purchase two boxes of thin mints, at five dollars a piece. Outraged at the price, he started to call them communists, but his mood completely turned around when they offered him a 2 for 10 deal.
“Pleasure doing business with you,” he said as he shook their hands and walked away with his thin mints in hand, delighted to be able to take advantage of such a bargain.
After he left, it was time to ask the hard hitting questions.
“Why did they change the name from samoas to caramel delites?”
“I don’t know,” one of the scouts said.
I then asked the girl scouts’ thoughts on how palm oil, one of our most environmentally destructive ingredients to produce due to deforestation (sometimes involving child labor), is used in their cookies, and they had this to say.
“I don’t really care. I just want to get a scooter,” one remarked.
“Dude, you’ve been here for like 2 hours, aren’t you gonna leave or something?”
“So you support child labor?” I asked, which was met with a confused response.
Then, one of the girls’ fathers, who was not a girl scout, asked me to leave. Since he had no jurisdiction, I refused.
They clearly didn’t get the point, so I explained to them yet again how problematic palm oil and palm oil products are.
I was later “escorted” from the scene by a “law enforcement officer” on grounds of “harassment”, allegedly.
Apparently seeking justice for our planet’s rainforests through journalism is a crime.
If you see your local girl scouts, support them and buy soon, as they’re only selling cookies for a few more weeks.
More information to support the Girl Scouts can be found here.
More information if you don’t want to support the Girl Scouts can be found here.