Cam Parrucci-
Aquarius – Do you actually think pineapple belongs on pizza? Like actually? Huh, okay.
Pisces – Whether it’s frozen or delivered, baked or grilled, pizza is still pizza. Think about that, it’s a rule to live by.
Aries – Many people have already met their future partner in life without realizing it. For you, it was the slightly overweight pizza delivery guy that came to your place a few weeks ago.
Taurus – You know what? Never mind, pineapple does belong on pizza! You’re right!
Gemini – What’s the point of Papa Murphy’s anyway? They don’t deliver or even bake the pizza. It’s just as disappointing as your GPA this semester.
Cancer – The stars have discovered your future, and your first child will be conceived in the bathroom of a Pizza Ranch. There’s no getting around it at this point.
Leo – If hot dogs are sandwiches, who’s to say pizza can’t also be a sandwich? You’ve got toasted bread, meat, cheese, vegetables, I mean, come on!
Virgo – Stop calling cheese a pizza topping. Cheese is on pizza ALWAYS. It’s not a topping, Virgo.
Libra – Toppers boxes are a piece of UW-Stout culture, Libra! Celebrate the pizza boxes, leave them in your room, ignore the smell!
Scorpio – Sometimes a Little Caesar’s $5 value pizza hits the spot when you’re low on cash. Not everything needs to be made of solid gold, you know.
Sagittarius – Cold pizza is always great, but don’t eat it frozen like your cousin Paul does. That’s seriously weird.
Capricorn – At this point, what can’t go on pizza? Seriously, try something new! Watermelon, cereal? Live a little!